What Are We Waiting For?

Good morning brothers and sisters,

After a couple long days (probably more like weeks or months) of the anxiety and doubt, it has become more clear than ever to me how to discern/follow God’s will in life.

I am more at peace this morning than I have been in a long time!

I pray that all our self-inflicted wounds may be lovingly given to Christ, so we may see clearly how to respond to His will.

Most of my recent discomfort with life has been created purely by my own sinfulness.

Living in God’s will is neither a spectator sport, not an aspiration towards a future goal.

It is a Now reality that is the greatest gift of all.

I truly believe in this moment that putting trust in Him is not enough!

Have I been doing my part?

Where am I with the commandments? (Not the letter of the law, put the purest intent, perhaps more on this later.)

Where am I with the beatitudes? (a hint of intention here…)

One of my most consistent prayers is for God to “fix me”.

Guess what?

He has.

Through Christ.

What I seek was given over 2000 years ago.

Accepting Christ into our lives is neither just a statement nor a prayer to be mentioned in passing.

We are not called to wait for an answer (although we trust that it is coming).

His life is to be lived, through our commitment to Him.

Christ is indeed the answer!

It is not about being exactly like Christ (there is only one Triune God).

It is about giving everything we have to follow His lead (which some might say is being like Him…OK, i accept that as a semantic’s issue)

That is the cross we are asked to bear.

Somehow I had it so twisted that my worldly suffering was/is a sacrifice to Him (and indeed the cross I must bear).

No!

In fact, my worldly suffering was/is actually distancing me from Him, because that is what I wanted Him to fix.

The focus was on my place in this world, and things that needed to happen for me to be at peace.

Again, He provided all that we need over 2000 years ago.

It is only when we can carry His cross with Him, that we can truly experience what He offers.

The beauty is that His cross long ago included our cross.

He has already borne all that we must bear to be His truest disciples.

And he said.

“Pick up your cross and follow me, I will lead the way.

Leave yourself behind, we won’t be needing you today."

Live the map of the scriptural life that He has provided.

Only then can we truly begin to glimpse a life in His will.

Only then can we truly begin to understand that He offers us eternity with Him.

His will is for us to be with Him.

He is here right now.

What are we waiting for?

until then...

That Gift

God has given everything to me, so I can give back to Him everything I am.

I wonder what today has in store for me?

I have been struggling with far too many things in life (at least according to MY desires), and my most recent reaction has been relative inaction.

I can't do it anymore!

It is in denial of what God has put in my heart.
It is in fear of how the world will react to these very unworldly desires of my heart.

Consider this post as an answer to days and days of prayerful contemplation, with a certain disgust with my inability to respond to truth...

All I have are questions.  When I get a glimpse of an answer, it typically increases my lack of conviction to share.  "What will they think of me?"

This calling is not normal.
This calling will be judged.
This calling will lead to even greater struggles.

Yet, to not answer is becoming the death of me (in a way that does not lead to light).

The struggle has been a lonely answer to respond to the ways of the world and it's expectations.
The struggle in this darkness, steals my joy.

So, somehow today reveals a new light.  I pray that this light blinds me to the ways of the world and illuminates the way to Him.
I pray the struggle transforms into a communal answer to the ways of God.
The struggle in this light, brings joy to others.

Christ gave all.  How go we repay that gift?

Is it subject to interpretation and how, when and where we were raised?
No, there is only one truth.

Is it in response to our family, friends, co-workers, strangers, enemies?
Maybe, but towards what end?

Is it by attendance to church, and spiritual formation, volunteering and giving?
Perhaps, but what is our intent?

I was feeling really good there for a while about my endeavors to repay that gift, but there was always a nagging feeling that my efforts (while beautifully giving on the outside) where focusing efforts on the wrong light (I was a shining example of what God could do with your life if you let him).

It became about Him, for me.
Not about Him, for Him.

At least now I realize the complete and infinite separation of those paradigms.
Lord, I pray for the grace and strength to repay that gift for you alone.
Until then...

And so the journey continues...

To follow is a song that came to me back in February

And He Said

This morning as I awoke I felt suddenly alone.

Today just might be the day our Lord would call me home.

I couldn't help but feel that gnawing bit of fear,

that deep inside I somehow knew I did not properly prepare.

I've read the Books old and new, and understood the message.

And yet my heart was telling me the errors of my passage.

The path is clear, the light is bright, the end eternal life,

Our Lord has paved the way through all our earthly strife.

And He said:

"Pick up your cross and follow me, I have led the way.

Leave yourself behind, we won't be needing you today.

Pick up your cross and follow me, My love is there before you.

No matter where you are, I already forever adore you".

I said, "My Lord this cannot be, for I have gone astray.

How can I truly accept this love you offer me today?

For my soul has yearned to live your truth, since even before my birth.

And yet I struggle to stay the path while living on this earth.

And He said.

“Pick up your cross…

For you my Lord it is so simple to make the message clear.

What my five senses try to ignore, my heart will always hear.

I offer you that very heart for all eternity.

I give you all the love inside, so please please stay with me.

And He said.

Suddenly I felt a sense of peace, for I knew He heard my plea.

I heard Him say love others first to give your love to Me.

Now as I lay my head to rest, and thank Him for my day.

My joy is complete in His Trinity, for He provides the way.

And he said:

"Pick up your cross and follow me, I have led the way.

Leave yourself behind, we won't be needing you today.

Pick up your cross and follow me, My love is there before you.

No matter where you are, I already forever adore you".

Amen.

By Michael J Krebs 02/10/2016