What Are We Waiting For?

Good morning brothers and sisters,

After a couple long days (probably more like weeks or months) of the anxiety and doubt, it has become more clear than ever to me how to discern/follow God’s will in life.

I am more at peace this morning than I have been in a long time!

I pray that all our self-inflicted wounds may be lovingly given to Christ, so we may see clearly how to respond to His will.

Most of my recent discomfort with life has been created purely by my own sinfulness.

Living in God’s will is neither a spectator sport, not an aspiration towards a future goal.

It is a Now reality that is the greatest gift of all.

I truly believe in this moment that putting trust in Him is not enough!

Have I been doing my part?

Where am I with the commandments? (Not the letter of the law, put the purest intent, perhaps more on this later.)

Where am I with the beatitudes? (a hint of intention here…)

One of my most consistent prayers is for God to “fix me”.

Guess what?

He has.

Through Christ.

What I seek was given over 2000 years ago.

Accepting Christ into our lives is neither just a statement nor a prayer to be mentioned in passing.

We are not called to wait for an answer (although we trust that it is coming).

His life is to be lived, through our commitment to Him.

Christ is indeed the answer!

It is not about being exactly like Christ (there is only one Triune God).

It is about giving everything we have to follow His lead (which some might say is being like Him…OK, i accept that as a semantic’s issue)

That is the cross we are asked to bear.

Somehow I had it so twisted that my worldly suffering was/is a sacrifice to Him (and indeed the cross I must bear).

No!

In fact, my worldly suffering was/is actually distancing me from Him, because that is what I wanted Him to fix.

The focus was on my place in this world, and things that needed to happen for me to be at peace.

Again, He provided all that we need over 2000 years ago.

It is only when we can carry His cross with Him, that we can truly experience what He offers.

The beauty is that His cross long ago included our cross.

He has already borne all that we must bear to be His truest disciples.

And he said.

“Pick up your cross and follow me, I will lead the way.

Leave yourself behind, we won’t be needing you today."

Live the map of the scriptural life that He has provided.

Only then can we truly begin to glimpse a life in His will.

Only then can we truly begin to understand that He offers us eternity with Him.

His will is for us to be with Him.

He is here right now.

What are we waiting for?

until then...

That Gift

God has given everything to me, so I can give back to Him everything I am.

I wonder what today has in store for me?

I have been struggling with far too many things in life (at least according to MY desires), and my most recent reaction has been relative inaction.

I can't do it anymore!

It is in denial of what God has put in my heart.
It is in fear of how the world will react to these very unworldly desires of my heart.

Consider this post as an answer to days and days of prayerful contemplation, with a certain disgust with my inability to respond to truth...

All I have are questions.  When I get a glimpse of an answer, it typically increases my lack of conviction to share.  "What will they think of me?"

This calling is not normal.
This calling will be judged.
This calling will lead to even greater struggles.

Yet, to not answer is becoming the death of me (in a way that does not lead to light).

The struggle has been a lonely answer to respond to the ways of the world and it's expectations.
The struggle in this darkness, steals my joy.

So, somehow today reveals a new light.  I pray that this light blinds me to the ways of the world and illuminates the way to Him.
I pray the struggle transforms into a communal answer to the ways of God.
The struggle in this light, brings joy to others.

Christ gave all.  How go we repay that gift?

Is it subject to interpretation and how, when and where we were raised?
No, there is only one truth.

Is it in response to our family, friends, co-workers, strangers, enemies?
Maybe, but towards what end?

Is it by attendance to church, and spiritual formation, volunteering and giving?
Perhaps, but what is our intent?

I was feeling really good there for a while about my endeavors to repay that gift, but there was always a nagging feeling that my efforts (while beautifully giving on the outside) where focusing efforts on the wrong light (I was a shining example of what God could do with your life if you let him).

It became about Him, for me.
Not about Him, for Him.

At least now I realize the complete and infinite separation of those paradigms.
Lord, I pray for the grace and strength to repay that gift for you alone.
Until then...

And so the journey continues...

To follow is a song that came to me back in February

And He Said

This morning as I awoke I felt suddenly alone.

Today just might be the day our Lord would call me home.

I couldn't help but feel that gnawing bit of fear,

that deep inside I somehow knew I did not properly prepare.

I've read the Books old and new, and understood the message.

And yet my heart was telling me the errors of my passage.

The path is clear, the light is bright, the end eternal life,

Our Lord has paved the way through all our earthly strife.

And He said:

"Pick up your cross and follow me, I have led the way.

Leave yourself behind, we won't be needing you today.

Pick up your cross and follow me, My love is there before you.

No matter where you are, I already forever adore you".

I said, "My Lord this cannot be, for I have gone astray.

How can I truly accept this love you offer me today?

For my soul has yearned to live your truth, since even before my birth.

And yet I struggle to stay the path while living on this earth.

And He said.

“Pick up your cross…

For you my Lord it is so simple to make the message clear.

What my five senses try to ignore, my heart will always hear.

I offer you that very heart for all eternity.

I give you all the love inside, so please please stay with me.

And He said.

Suddenly I felt a sense of peace, for I knew He heard my plea.

I heard Him say love others first to give your love to Me.

Now as I lay my head to rest, and thank Him for my day.

My joy is complete in His Trinity, for He provides the way.

And he said:

"Pick up your cross and follow me, I have led the way.

Leave yourself behind, we won't be needing you today.

Pick up your cross and follow me, My love is there before you.

No matter where you are, I already forever adore you".

Amen.

By Michael J Krebs 02/10/2016

A Gift from the Sea

I am bored this morning.  My person needs a respite from a long work week.  I still have too much on my plate.  However with determined obedience, I put down the "hammer" and observe this Sunday day of rest.

I realize that the "boredom" that has come is a trap.  It is the World calling me away from time with our Lord.  It has dulled my senses to the extent that I feel useless, unless I am doing something.  There is no joy.  Why????

I pause now to pray for clarity and the ability to share His offering.

After a week long pause to this message...

My sense of lack of purpose is simply a lapse in the search for Him.

Last week we went hunting for scallops.  For those whom have not tried it, it is a rather simple process.  Basically you don mask, snorkel and fins, and while floating or slowly swimming on the water's surface you scan the sea floor for scallops.  The scallops are somewhat camouflaged and/or hidden in sea grass, however with diligence and a sense of purpose/determination they may be found.
When you spot one, you reach (or dive) down and pluck it from it's bed.  Once in a while they try to swim away.  It is kind of cool watching a shell propel itself through the water.  There is no chase however, for the scallops are not able to escape our grasp.

On a personal note, I really did not have the desire to go scalloping.  Or perhaps, a more honest share would reveal that, I thought my work was too important (and busy) to let this family time interfere with the worldly success that was within my reach.

So this message began by sharing my boredom.  The very first word was "I".  What was my focus in that moment?  The answer is all to obvious.  Did it really take a week to discover His will?

Yes and no!

It took a tiny sea creature to remind me that He is where you seek.  What could have been a boring and rather monotonous experience (literally floating in the Gulf of Mexico for hours), was joyful.  Family, fresh air and a fruitful harvest brought light to His presence in life.  Just like those scallops would be there, ready for the taking when we fully participate in the experience:
God is always present, even when and where we fail to seek Him.  He is always within our grasp.

Scripture reminds us that when we truly desire His presence...
Jeremiah 29:13,  "You shall seek me. And you will find me, when you have sought me with your whole heart."
...there He shall be.

What actions will be taken today to clarify what our hearts are pursuing?  I pray that the answers come as obvious choices, each moment of the day.  For me, boredom is a sure sign that I am the center of my own attention.  Christ would not know me on that day.

Thank God, He is bigger than that.  The seed He planted in my heart was being choked by the weeds of this world and my own transgressions.  He revealed how to weather this storm and again make fertile His soil.  Christ knows how difficult the path is, and our desire to know (follow) him, is in turn how He knows us.

May we find the grace to seek Him with our whole heart.
amen.

Un-Chosen

It has been quite a while since I have responded to the desire to share.  This response is in honor of those brothers in Christ who share this calling.  May He provide that which we dutifully seek.

Un-chosen.

John 21:20-22

"Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?”

When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?”

Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”"

No matter what occurs in our lives.  No matter how anyone else responds to any given situation, whether we feel (or for that matter know) it is right or wrong.  We have but one correct choice.  Follow Christ!

I have always been a results driven man.  If I do my part, then my expectation is typically fulfilled by the realization of the outcome.  This is a powerful tool for most things of this world.  It can be a huge liability when committed to a life in Christ.

Titus 1:2

“in hope of eternal life, which God, who never lies, promised before the ages began”

A life in Christ is synonymous to living in eternity today.  This means that all we do must be rooted in pursuit of what is to come (which reaches far beyond our senses).  Not just in the immediate results of our actions, but in the final meaning of our lives. 

Our personal interpretations of victories and defeats are as meaningless as our attempts to define God.  Our Creator manifests the eternal outcome and our commitment to Him is our only real choice.

So finally for me, the greatest choice has been made.  My previous reluctance to fully be the man our Father has created is my greatest obstacle to the faith.  Although it is a faith which I proclaim to desire from the depths of my soul, I have been seeking immediate results, in lieu of the eternal reward that awaits.

These are my prayers.  

"Lord change me."

"Lord heal me."

"Lord, please enable my walk to freely pursue your eminence."

In this moment I hear the words, "It is done."

Yes, it is done.  It is done now as I realize.  It remains done for eternity.

What prevents continuing realization (and acceptance) is my own inability to trust His desire for me.

Not just the worldly acceptable parts of me (which I kinda like to).  But He desires, (even more so I would imagine), for me to offer up those "flaws" that neither the world, nor I, care to acknowledge.  These sins were born with me (with all of us).

He created us.

To love him fully is to accept His creation.
To enrich His gift of my life, is to give every part of me back to Him.
Not just in word or deed, but truly in heart.
In my sinfulness, I find His loving call back.
In my weakness, I seek His power.
In my worry, I seek His wisdom.

And in my doubt, I seek His eternal promise of coming home.

That is the only choice that matters…

amen

Time is the Essence

Lord,
I have given you my heart.
I endeavor to give you my mind, and yet my thoughts betray me at times.  

In Colossians 2:8 we are reminded.
"See to it that no one captivate you with an empty, seductive philosophy according to the tradition of men, according to the elemental powers of the world and not according to Christ."

Having been raised as a self-reliant man of this world, too often I struggle to let go of what this world has "taught" me (about what is most important, about what I can “and should” control).

Lord,
Too often I lose sight of your presence. Not because you are hiding, but because I am searching for an answer that conforms to the ways of this world. As we are so often reminded, you are in this world, yet not of this world. So too must my time be spent.

And so today;
I vow to deepen the gift of my heart,
I pray for your constant voice in my thoughts and,
I humbly ask for the grace to spend ALL of my time in your spirit.
I know I will fail. I also know that failure deepens my conviction in truth.

Success is joy!
Joy is everlasting life.
Joy is not of this world.
Joy is your presence.
Your presence is available right now.
Now is the time for life.
Time is the essence of Life.
Life is walking in His Light!

And so our walk continues…

Feeling Alive

Who am I without God?
Everything!
That is where this World wants us to be.

Who am I with God?
Nothing!
So I am left with only Him to fill me.

In Him is life.

The Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end.

We are created in this life by the Love and will of our God.
We bring nothing with us, and are 100% dependent upon the love of others.
 

 

When we exit this life, we return to our God.
We bring nothing with us, and are 100% dependent upon our relationship with the Father.

 

 

 Somewhere between the alpha and the omega, we lose our way.

 

No matter who we are, what we believe or what we have done, we will never exist beyond the beginning and the end. That is a guarantee established by the very meaning of those words.

Since God is the beginning and the end, He must also always exist in the middle, which is also where we spend our time on this earth.

So the journey to Him, is really about remaining with Him. As we mature in faith the distance may seem to grow, as we realize just how beautiful our lives would be with complete surrender.

HE is here right now!

The joy of that realization is beyond my ability to define! The struggle to surrender is defining life's new and only purpose.

Lord, please help us choose nothing but the love that you so mercifully desire for our way of life.

Not for everything that the world has to offer, but for the eternal life that you have already given through Christ our Lord, amen